<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en"><head><meta charset="UTF-8"/><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width,initial-scale=1.0"/><title>404 – Page Not Found | warnes.com</title><style>*,*::before,*::after{box-sizing:border-box;margin:0;padding:0}body{font-family:-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,"Segoe UI",Roboto,sans-serif;background:#0f0f0f;color:#e5e5e5;min-height:100vh;display:flex;flex-direction:column;align-items:center;justify-content:center;padding:2rem;text-align:center}.sofa{font-size:5rem;animation:float 4s ease-in-out infinite;display:block;margin-bottom:1rem}@keyframes float{0%,100%{transform:translateY(0) rotate(-3deg)}50%{transform:translateY(-18px) rotate(3deg)}}.code{font-size:clamp(5rem,18vw,9rem);font-weight:900;letter-spacing:-.04em;color:#fff;line-height:1;opacity:.12;user-select:none}h1{font-size:1.6rem;font-weight:700;margin-top:1.25rem;color:#fff}.subtitle{margin-top:.5rem;color:#888;font-size:1rem;font-style:italic}.quote{margin-top:2rem;padding:1rem 1.5rem;border-left:3px solid #555;color:#aaa;font-size:.95rem;line-height:1.6;text-align:left;max-width:400px}.quote cite{display:block;margin-top:.5rem;font-size:.8rem;color:#555}.suggestions{margin-top:2rem;color:#666;font-size:.85rem;line-height:2}.suggestions strong{color:#aaa}.home-link{display:inline-block;margin-top:2rem;padding:.65rem 1.5rem;background:#fff;color:#0f0f0f;text-decoration:none;border-radius:6px;font-weight:700;font-size:.95rem;transition:opacity .15s ease}.home-link:hover{opacity:.85}footer{margin-top:3rem;color:#333;font-size:.75rem}</style></head><body><span class="sofa">🛋️</span><div class="code">404</div><h1>This page is not here.</h1><p class="subtitle">It may have drifted off somewhere near the Inca Roads.</p><blockquote class="quote">"A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it isn't open."<cite>— Frank Zappa (also: a good attitude when clicking random URLs)</cite></blockquote><div class="suggestions"><strong>Possible explanations:</strong><br>The URL ate the yellow snow.<br>The page joined the Mothers of Invention.<br>It's in the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen.<br>You typed something, it was wrong.</div><a href="/" class="home-link">← Take the Inca Road home</a><footer>warnes.com — one size fits all</footer></body></html>